Granny’s Mid-Summer Vacation

Live-in daughter and #1 grandson left for Florida just over a week ago. She’s signed on to help an old friend near Gainesville undergoing radiation and chemo for cancer, he’s working for his Dad to earn money for college and maybe a car. They’ll go to Oklahoma from there at the end of August to visit great-grandma, he’s put off enrollment until January.

Which is actually a good thing, I hear. College can be incredibly expensive, and often high school grads don’t do well if they start with just two months’ worth of break. Spending two years in academic transfer courses at the community college (all just basic requirements, straight transfer Junior year to UNC) can be a mellower introduction to college life and save a bundle.

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A Wonderful Family Reunion

Here’s hoping that all my readers had a happy, safe and brightly-lit Independence Day this year! Ours was particularly great, with Grandson #2 (two months younger than #1), his Mom and soon-to-be official Stepdad and 15-year old sister we’ve only met once before. Other guests were at a minimum, which allowed us to just hang out together, tell stories and talk about ’stuff’, hike on the Mount Mitchell Trail a bit, and break in my brand new deck.

We hadn’t seen grandson Michael for four years, which is way too long! Last time he was here - for the 4th of July - he got bitten by a copperhead on day-1 and had to spend the next three days in the hospital. Not much of a birthday vacation! Luckily, copperheads have thus far been absent this year (knock on wood), so Mike and I were able to spend good time together picking blackberries and making cobbler, accumulating lots of thorn pricks and scratches in the process. We only looked slightly war-weary by the time the cobbler was done, badges of honor around here!

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“But I’m Boooored, Grandma!!!”

Resources and Ideas for a Sane Summer

School’s out for the summer, the kids (and grandkids) are all looking for something to do. If you work at home, it’s a good idea to have some contingency plans or you’ll find that getting anything done is even more difficult than usual. I’m sure I’m not the only work-at-home Mom/Grandma who doesn’t get as much housework done as she’d like, even though she’s sitting right in the middle of the house 8 to 10 hours a day. Those dishes keep on piling up - especially when the rest of the family’s home. The food disappears faster than you can plan a meal, the television going constantly in the background is incredibly distracting, and then there’s the “I’m Bored!” whine that kids learn when they’re about 5 and don’t grow out of until they go off to college or career.

I’ve found some good resources on the web that offer good ideas. Char over at Weary Parent offers some great ideas in Keeping Teens and Tweens Busy This Summer. And while a few of them involve you having to physically be somewhere besides home, others serve to get the kids away from home instead! Don’t forget to read through the comments, there are more good ideas in those.

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Summer Challenge: Feeding the Grandkids

…what they mostly won’t eat at home

I don’t know about all grandmas, but I know from my own experience with other people’s kids that they often come to spend a week or two expecting to be fed precisely what they usually get fed at home, and can be positively horrified to find that Grandma doesn’t stock chocolate cereals or big bags of candy or white bread and baloney for sandwiches, and there’s not a McDonald’s or Wendy’s in sight.

Now, it’s not that I don’t make some concessions to the basic kid-diet. My non-vegetarian grands and nieces/nephews and such do have the option of a can of beef-a-roni or a frozen pepperoni pizza here and there. I’ve even been known to purchase some turkey-dogs to roast over the campfire. But the grilled burgers are black bean, there will be no “Happy Meals,” and no bacon bits for the baked potatoes.

I also stock lots of fruit, whatever’s available when they’re here. I grow strawberries in the garden, those usually get eaten as soon as they’re picked, and they only last so long into the season. I have some cherry tomatoes that went wild one year, show up in unexpected places all over the garden. Those get eaten as soon as they’re picked as well, one granddaughter swears they’re sweeter than cherries! None of the kids seem to like cooked greens very much, but they’ll eat as many peas raw from the pod as I can possibly pick on any given day.

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Stock Up Now for Summer Visits

Ever since I got married relatives have been sending their kids to visit during the summer when they’re out of school. First it was my little brother and sisters. When they grew up and had children, it’s been nieces and nephews too. Then it was adopted children, semi-adopted children and then their children - my grandkids. Since I’ve generally been a mostly at-home Mom and Grandma, this (wherever we’re living at the time is ‘this’) is where the kids come. We don’t mind.

Yet the visitors are mostly “city kids,” who aren’t trained and accustomed to looking out for issues here in the country that simply don’t arise in the city. Looking both ways before crossing the street, knowing how to trigger the crossing light, being wary of strangers, keeping the doors and windows locked and being in constant cell-phone distance from a parent or caregiver are all very useful skills in the city. Out here where the nearest paved road is half a mile away and nobody can “drive by” there’s other things to worry about.

The grandson who has lived here with us for 16 of his 18 years has never run into serious trouble. Grandson #2 and nephew #1 from baby sister have both had losing run-ins with copperheads, another nephew nearly broke his ankle trying to run straight down the terraces (but at least he didn’t take a nose-dive off the cliff), and we’ve installed a stop sign at the railroad crossing because we’ve always been paranoid of that. Only a few visitors ever got really lost, luckily we have very good girl-dogs who will always tell us if a kid’s in trouble, lead us right to them.
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The Happy State of Grandma-dom

My beautiful little Sunshine seemed quite delighted to meet her Grandma (me!) over Memorial Day weekend, and Grandma was sure delighted to meet her! At just over two months old she’s fat and happy, quite mellow for a wee thing who doesn’t much like being so little. As long as she’s kept close and high enough to look big people in the eye, she’ll let loose that dazzling smile and tell stories for as long as we’ll listen to the coos and gurgles and guffaws.

My grandsons are pretty much grown (#1 just turned 18, #2 turns 18 in July), it’s a little hard to remember that they were ever that small. #1 was even smaller, just six and a half pounds when he made his appearance in the world. Miss Sunshine already understands in no uncertain terms that she is the Princess of the Universe, and fully expects deference from all to that lofty title. Which, of course, her parents, grandparents, aunts and cousins are all most eager to provide in abundance!

#1 grandson surprised me by walking out to the car when they arrived, taking the baby confidently from Mom, and proceeding with her to the house talking all the while about why he’s going to call her “CoolAss Mojo” no matter what anybody else says her name is, and imparting cousin-like advice on what the world is like and how truly cool it is. It reminded me of the fact that my husband and I were just 18 when our daughter was born, and I had to realize that it probably won’t be too long before I get to welcome a GREAT-grandchild into the family. Whoa!!!

I did manage to finish that quilt finally. It wasn’t as big as I’d have liked, so I batted it double-thick and used pink fleece on the back side to compliment the purple I used around the squares on the front (because I started it before I knew Sunshine was a she, and purple is what I had on hand). Daughter was very pleased, and that’s what counts.

With gas prices going up fast we may not see them again for awhile. We’d go north to see them, but must go west to visit Mom-in-Law this summer instead - if we can afford even that. She’ll be 86 in August, the only parent we’ve got left, and we’ve got to make some arrangements so she won’t be living alone. Grandson #2 will be coming up to see us in July (and will hopefully NOT tangle with a copperhead this time), and #1 is going to have to go to the local community college at least his first year because costs at the university have doubled since he applied.

Perhaps things economic will get better soon. Despite being old enough to get jaded, new life always tends to make things look a lot more hopeful. All I know right now is that Little Miss Sunshine is sure happy to be here, and Grandma is sure happy to meet her!

Blackberry Winter and Baby Sunshine

We’re all suffering Blackberry Winter here in the mountains. And I do mean suffering. Grandson, daughter and I have all contracted our ‘usual’ spring colds due to radical temperature and weather shifts, and it’s simply way too cold and nasty outside for me to finish tilling a tier of the garden for tomatoes and peppers. We haven’t seen the sun in days. It’s not quite cold enough for heat, not warm enough to get out of our winter sweatshirts and sweaters. Yuck!

I found out about Blackberry Winter the first spring we spent here, in 1993. That was the year of the Great Blizzard on March 13 that buried us under 3-4 feet of wet snow and cut the electricity off for two full weeks. It was also the year of our first forest fire on April 13, exactly a month later and pretty scary (I’m used to them by now). Then, right around May 13, the lovely seasonably warm weather turned suddenly dark, damp and relatively cold (low 60s during the day, 40s at night). It lasted for nearly two weeks, and I was hard pressed to figure out what’s wrong with May around here. I’d seen May be the hottest month of the year in several states we’d lived previously!

That’s when my new friend Margaret informed me rather dismissively that it’s just Blackberry Winter. Happens every year during the first half of May, she said, and in the 15 years since I’ve found that to be true and entirely predictable every single year. See, the blackberries bloom during that time, and the cold weather always coincides with the appearance of their white blooms. Not with the crocus and jonquils, not with the dogwoods and redbuds, not with the apples, pears or cherry blooms. Always with the blackberries. As soon as you see the buds starting to open you know for a fact the weather will turn within a day or two, and stay dismal for as long as it takes for them to be pollinated and drop off.

Thus it was with joy and gladness that I received the news in my head-stuffed, achy spring illness that our daughter and son-in-law will be visiting Granny, Grandpa and an Aunt Granny nearby next weekend with baby Sunshine! Of course that means I have to scramble to finish that darned quilt, but I can’t wait to hold that baby and kiss her soft cheeks! The weather should be great by then, the blackberries are almost done doing their thing. Our colds should be well over with by then too, and we’ll disinfect the house thoroughly for the occasion.

I’ll take lots of pictures! So stay tuned all you Moms and Grandmas out there, this Grandma is ready to show off big time!

More Good Reasons to Breast Feed

Science reports this week yet another research study touting the considerable benefits of breast feeding over formula or cow’s milk for babies.

This time the study is used to support the notion that breast fed babies are just plain smarter than babies who don’t have that advantage. The original article in ScienceDaily makes a causal inference that may not be scientifically warranted given the details of the study and the fact that correlation does not necessarily equal causation, but it’s something for new parents to consider.

Meanwhile, another study published this week links early consumption of cow’s milk with Type-1 diabetes, and that’s a correlation no parent needs to ignore! Researcher marcia F. Goldfarb suggests that the culprit may be a cow protein lactoglobulin may have adverse effects to the breast milk protein it mimics (glycodelin), which controls T-cell production in the human immune system.

So ladies, here are two more great [’scientific’] reasons to breast feed your babies no matter what your grandma or your Mother-in-Law tells you about the “unseemliness” of it all!

A Good New Fangled Irish Wake

Well, we made it home in one piece from the funeral of our dear old friend Rick, but only because Grandma did the driving (everyone had been up all night at the wake, I was the only one in any shape to drive 8 hours home!). The funeral crowd overspilled the ample sanctuary of Rick’s Mom’s Catholic church, SRO inside (including the entire foyer) and others standing outside. The priest was a bit taken aback, and rightly suspected a lot of these people had probably never darkened a church door in their lives. But he did fine anyway, and all our hearts were broken - we were there for Mom, no one was going to cause any trouble.

In the immediate family circle are O’Sheas and Coins and O’Cains and O’Rourkes and other names so blatantly Irish nobody could confuse the issue by the number of Rastas and Buddhists and Presbyterians and atheists (and God-Knows-Whats) in the crowd. Even though we did outnumber them. After the mass there was a photo collage presented in the fellowship hall, probably 600 people stayed to see it.

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Life’s Comings and Goings

Sadly, I write today about a very dear old friend who didn’t wake up yesterday (April 15). Gladly, I also get to write about another friend whose brand spanking new young son was born right about the same time our old friend died. Funny how life seems to work out that way, when tears of sorrow mingle so readily with tears of joy. I must be getting old (again… still?).

My friend Rick wasn’t supposed to live past 16, when he was gravely injured in an auto accident that killed his friend. Confined to a wheel chair from that moment on with paralysis progressing steadily, he wasn’t supposed to live past 25. We celebrated his 50th birthday just last year, so he beat the odds big time. Became a college teacher, a sage to young people and deep soul’s heartbeat to diverse creative communities. Rick was beloved by hundreds, and holds a special place in my own life as one of the most Culturally Significant human beings I’ve ever had the privilege of knowing and loving.

So it was with a sense of karmic aptness that I greeted the morning mail to find news of another big event, the birth of a fine, healthy son to another friend (I’m still trying to work out the details on an arranged marriage for Sunshine, but it might be too soon…). I don’t believe in reincarnation, but it’s humbling nonetheless to experience life’s comings and goings as such a cyclical phenomenon - the wheel just keeps on turning, even when it seems right that the sun stop in its tracks to grieve a lost light.

Kite-maker believed in the power of laughter

We’ll all get our chance to step off that wheel eventually, go wherever it is our frail bodies keep us from going while we’re here learning things that need learning, maybe teaching the little we’ve learned. It’s nice to know that the opportunities keep on coming in as those spent keep on checking out. Just as it should be.